


Okay

by PaxCallow



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Panic Attack Mention, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 06:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11248557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaxCallow/pseuds/PaxCallow
Summary: Lars is a gemless meat shield who won't be shot. It's not like he has a choice.(quick drabble of lars' thoughts toward the end of the off colors. you know, for fun!)





	Okay

                _Lars feels like he’s hyperventilating. Is this a panic attack? He’s felt this before, but not at this scale, but he’s never really known anyway if they were panic attacks or not—He’d say he can’t breathe, but he’s breathing. He can’t breathe enough. Why can’t he breathe enough? He’s hiding in a freaking hole, his back against a wall. He feels so sick and useless. He feels so stupid. He feels… so…_

_“Lars.”_

_It’s Steven. He places his tubby hand on Lars’ pounding chest. No high fives._

_He’s looking straight up at him, that crazy glowing shield on his forearm, equipped with all kinds of weird space powers. But he’s like twelve or something, and he looks terrified. And it’s messed up? But the first thing Lars thinks is that he’s glad he’s not the only terrified one right now._

_And Steven says…_

_“It’s okay to be afraid.”_

_The words hit him like a softball to the chest, and all that inability to breathe releases all at once as hot tears in his eyes, and yeah, he knows, of course he knows. Well. No. Actually, he doesn’t. But he’ll keep reminding himself every time he forgets._

_“Okay,” he whispers in reply, placing his hand on Steven’s chest._ Okay, _he silently repeats._ It’s okay.

 

                That was too close.

                He drops down and lands on the ledge in front of Rh- uh, Rhodonite, relieved as the gem shooty laser thing ignores her. He considers the situation.

                There’s no way he can climb down fast enough to stop that thing if it makes it to one of the others. There’s no way! Steven has his shield, and he’s close to the _little_ alien chick, but the huge one and those Rutile ones…

                He can’t let it happen.

                As the robot thing whirls around to fly away for someone not-invisible to shoot, Lars begins to realize how slow everything seems to be moving.

                His heart is pounding. He knows precisely what he’s going to do. He’s not going to climb. He’s going to jump.

                 As he crouches down slightly, every part of him screams to push past Rhododendron, flee into the depths of this person hole and hide. Because every part of him is afraid. But he reminds himself—

                _Lars. It’s okay to be afraid._

“Okay,” he huffs in reply. He’s a gemless meat shield who won’t be shot. It’s not like he has a choice.

                _It’s okay to be afraid._

                “Okay,” he breathes, steadily. He picks up a broken stalactite from the corner of the hole. No, no, he has a choice, and he’s choosing. And you know, it’s incredibly clear why he didn’t choose this way last time. But yet…

                _It’s—_

                “ _OOO **KAY!**_ ” He roars. And he leaps off the ledge and into open space.

                There’s what feels like a good half year of him sailing through the air before he feels the robot  crashing between his legs. Oh thank god. Also ow. It starts to thrash beneath him like a rabid animal and he claws into it with his free hand.

                With his non-free-stalactite-club hand, he heaves his weapon up and brings it down on the firing end of the robot. … That seemed ineffect _IVE—_

                The robot, enraged, starts blind firing every which way, and then takes off with Lars still on its back. His stomach turns, he yelps, he holds on for dear life.

                Beneath him, Steven takes off running in the opposite direction with the little one in his arm as Lars’ robot rodeo bull fires blast after furious blast into the cave walls, then spinning around and firing into the wall right where they were running. They narrowly dodge the debris.

                Too close. This needs to end _now._

                It fires off another and the icing on the cake is the sick front flip it does during the blast. He wraps his arms desperately around the robot along with his legs as centrifugal force threatens to take him, but flipping just gave him a really good idea.

                He crashes against the wild robot as it steadies itself upright, searching for another target. Quick as a flash, he flips the stone weapon around and grips it firmly in both hands. It’s not a club, it’s a _skewer._

                Eff this shish kebab.

                “ ** _EAT! THIS!_** ” He screams, and with all his might, lodges the armor-piercing point of the stalactite into the robot’s red eye. It shatters like glass, and he knows immediately that this thing is done. And he knows they’re gonna be safe.

                There’s a flash—

 

                And the next thing he knows… he’s lying on his back. The hint of a headache slowly drifting away from him. It’s dead quiet, there’s a soft, trembling hand supporting the back of his head, and another that slips away from his arm. He clenches his fist, testing movement. He has no idea what just happened.

                His cheek feels wet, and his body feels cold. But apart from his head swimming with dizziness and confusion… he feels okay.

                Groaning, Lars rises from the dirt.

**Author's Note:**

> somebody has probably already written this EXACT FIC but I HAVEN'T so here weee GOOO. oh wait we already went.
> 
> kind of just threw it together today, so it's definitely a little stream of consciousness, but the inspiration hit me. i hope you liked it!


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